TEN years ago, childhood sweethearts Andrew Prosser and Joanna Griffiths agreed to get married live on TV to showcase how people on benefits could budget for a wedding.
But the couple say their big day was turned into ‘poverty porn’ and the Channel 5 show, called The Great Big Benefits Wedding, tried to portray them as layabouts on handouts.
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Family members refused to attend the nuptials due to the stigma of being linked to a benefits TV show.
And locals even threatened protests to stop the wedding from going ahead, fearing that their hometown would be tarnished by it.
Joanna, now 48, says: “We had seen some of these benefits programmes and they just seemed to pick a certain type of person.
“I don’t look down on anyone – people who take drugs and are hard-up and have lost teeth, nobody chooses to be like that.
“Circumstances mean that people end up that way.
“They tended to choose people who were drinkers. I wanted to show that not everyone on benefits is like that.
“My husband had his own business, he was doing very well for himself.
“But he got diagnosed with early onset rheumatoid arthritis and he couldn’t work any more, he got let down by his employees and the business folded. His only option then was to claim benefits.
“This wasn’t a lifestyle choice. Andrew started working before he even left school.
“He had never not worked a day in his life. He is a very proud man, so this was a big thing for him to have to claim benefits.
“And there is a stigma to it now because the Government has pigeon-holed us as benefits scroungers.”
Joanna and Andrew, who live in a three-bed council house in Cwmbran, Gwent, had dated when they were teenagers but did not see one another for 20 years after an acrimonious break-up.
After meeting through a mutual friend in September 2014, the pair got engaged.
But Andrew was forced to give up work after his shock diagnosis.
And Joanna was struggling to find work to fit around her young family, so the couple relied on benefits of £824 a month – meaning a dream wedding seemed like a pipe dream.
So Joanna joined a Facebook group to get tips on how to get married on a tight budget.
A casting producer posted an advert looking for people on benefits who would be interested in taking part in a new TV show.
“I thought, ‘why not?’” says Joanna. “It was ITN productions which I trusted because they do the news, and it was for Channel 5.
“We signed a contract and they set up filming dates.
“Then they announced the name of the programme ‘The Great Big Benefits Wedding’ – and that is when alarm bells started ringing.
“I raised my concerns and they said this programme isn’t one of those benefit programmes, we are trying to do something like Dispatches, the realities of people on benefits trying to get married.
“That was our reason for doing it. Getting married isn’t something that should be denied just because you are poor, you shouldn’t be denied the chance to have a wedding.
“I wanted to show that it could be done, how you can save money, do things on a budget by making things yourself, I did my own wedding flowers and that kind of thing.
“They started filming, but as time went on, a lot of my family were saying they weren’t sure they wanted to come to the wedding because they thought it was going to be one of those benefits programmes.
“I started to panic then. My sister didn’t want to come, and quite a few people who we invited started making excuses.
“I started to talk to the producers and I think they panicked thinking we were going to pull out.
“So they came from London and had a meeting with the family, reassured everyone that it was a serious programme.
“But there were still quite a few family members who didn’t come.”
£30 hen & stag dos
The filming showed Joanna trying to create her perfect wedding on a budget by sourcing decorations from eBay, making her own wedding cake for £16 and finding a local photography student to take pictures for free.
The couple even managed to have hen and stag dos – setting themselves a maximum budget of £30 each.
In the run-up to the live televised wedding, the show was advertised on TV and social media.
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And that is when the backlash started.
“We were getting married in Pontypool and a lot of people didn’t want Pontypool to be on one of those benefits programmes,” explains Joanna.
“There was a lot of talk about protesting, they were going to block the streets so that the TV crews couldn’t get through.
“That was pretty stressful and we didn’t know what was going to happen on the day, but luckily that didn’t come to anything.”
Wedding stopped for ad breaks
Joanna says she now feels embarrassed by how they were portrayed on the show – and says it was hard to relax and enjoy what was supposed to be the best day of their lives.
“It was hard being filmed,” she says. “You are very wary of what you say and what you do.
“I wasn’t my natural self. I was very aware that I was being filmed.
“It didn’t feel like a proper wedding because we were stopping and starting.
“It was live, so there was an advert break so we were all just stood around.
“When we watched it back I felt embarrassed. The way that it was filmed, you could see what they were trying to do.
“They had wanted to do this live wedding so they had to be careful about who they chose.
“They couldn’t choose a couple who were going to be a liability.
“I think that is why we were the choice – we had enough about us that we were OK, and we wouldn’t pull out at the last minute.
“But they did try to mould us and make us behave in a certain way.”
Looking back, Joanna says there were parts of the show that she regrets agreeing to.
She explains: “They asked if they could take a picture of me holding my bouquet outside the house. The front of our building, it doesn’t look great.
“It is a council maisonette building – so the front is nothing special at all, it does look quite poor, I suppose. And that was the reason they wanted the photo taken out there.
“I did feel a bit exploited afterwards.
“They would ask to film us when we just got up in the morning in our pyjamas.
“I think that was to make us look like we were layabouts, that we didn’t get dressed. We refused to do a lot of things.
“They asked me if I shopped in charity shops. And I said not for clothes, because clothes are so cheap now you don’t need to.
“But I did go into charity shops to buy second-hand jewellery as I like to make my own jewellery so use second-hand beads and things in my work.
“So they asked to film me in the charity shop, but they kept pushing me to look at the clothes, to make it look like I bought charity shop clothes.”
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But after the show went out, the couple were pleasantly surprised by the public reaction.
“Social media was 50/50,” says Joanna. “There were a lot of positive comments which I was surprised about.
“I was ready for a backlash, but it was surprisingly positive. People saying the bride looked lovely and they cried.
“A lot of people were agreeing with us. The host Matt Johnson said what do you say to people who say you shouldn’t get married on benefits because people’s attitude is the taxpayer is paying for your wedding.
“So I said well they paid for Charles and Diana’s wedding too. Our wedding cost about £900 in total – my dress was about £300 and I only got that because I had a win on the bingo.
“Intelligent people know that there are people who claim benefits because they have no other choice, and there are people who claim them because they don’t want to work, or who have addiction problems.
“For quite a while after we were out and about and people would recognise us and we would get embarrassed.”
The couple did not receive any payment for taking part in the programme – although the TV company gave them a wedding gift of a £2,000 voucher towards a honeymoon.
“That was just amazing – we went to Jamaica for two weeks,” says Joanna. “It was the holiday of a lifetime, we would never have been able to afford that.”
Going strong against the odds
The couple are still going strong after ten years of marriage – despite devastating health setbacks and personal tragedies that would have tested the strongest relationship.
A year after the wedding Joanna was diagnosed with cervical cancer and underwent a hysterectomy.
But the cancer returned in 2019 and had spread into her colon so she had to have major surgery, a colostomy, chemotherapy and radiotherapy.
The same year Joanna’s youngest daughter Georgia died suddenly from a rare heart condition.
“She was loading the kids into the car and dropped dead,” she says.
Mum-of-three Georgia was just 20 years old.
Andrew, now 53, had a heart attack the night before his 50th birthday and had to undergo surgery to have six stents fitted.
Budget-Friendly Wedding Tips
PLANNING a wedding on a budget doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your dream day. Here are some tips to keep costs down while still creating a memorable celebration:
Set a Budget and Stick to It
- Determine your total budget early on and allocate funds to different aspects of the wedding.
- Track all expenses to avoid overspending.
Limit the Guest List
- Keep your guest list intimate to reduce costs on catering, venue, and other per-person expenses.
Choose an Affordable Venue
- Consider non-traditional venues like parks, community halls, or a family member’s backyard.
- Look for venues that allow you to bring your own vendors.
DIY Decorations
- Create your own centerpieces, bouquets, and other décor items.
- Use seasonal flowers and simple, elegant designs.
Opt for a Weekday or Off-Season Wedding
- Venues and vendors often offer discounts for weekday or off-season weddings.
Simplify the Menu
- Choose a buffet or family-style meal over a plated dinner.
- Limit the number of courses and opt for affordable, yet delicious options.
Borrow or Rent Attire
- Borrow wedding attire from friends or family, or rent dresses and suits.
- Look for sales or consider pre-owned wedding dresses.
Digital Invitations
- Send digital invitations instead of printed ones to save on printing and postage costs.
Hire a DJ or Create a Playlist
- Hire a DJ instead of a live band, or create your own playlist for the reception.
Simplify the Cake
- Opt for a small, simple cake for the ceremonial cutting and serve a sheet cake to guests.
By being mindful of these tips, you can create a beautiful and memorable wedding without breaking the bank. Remember, the focus should be on celebrating your love and commitment, not on how much you spend.
And Joanna has had major back surgery. Both Andrew and Joanna struggle with their mobility and cannot work due to their health issues, and Joanna says this a huge source of frustration for both of them.
“I have to use a mobility scooter now. I can’t stand for long and I am in constant pain,” she says.
“All I wanted to do when my children grew up was to go into nursing.
“I wanted to go back to college, get qualifications to get into uni. My eldest daughter has actually done it so I am living vicariously through her now.
“We can’t work, I am pretty much housebound. We don’t want to be on benefits but we have got no choice.
“I am so aware of being out in public because people know that we claim benefits, people talk. There is still a stigma attached.”
Joanna says her PIP benefit payment – given to people with long-term physical or mental health conditions – has just been removed, something she is challenging.
So the couple rely on fortnightly Universal Credit payments of around £340, plus Andrew’s PIP benefit.
Joanna says: “I am at the mercy of the benefits system.
“It is not a choice, it is no way to live. It is not a lifestyle choice and if it was, it wouldn’t be worth it.”
