Dating apps are part of the fabric of society, with one in 10 people in relationships or marriages now meeting online.
But are the halcyon days of digital romance behind us? There is much to suggest that people have fallen out of love with swiping. Tinder’s paying users fell by 8% last year, and Match Group – the parent company of both including Tinder and Hinge – saw its stock plummet by 68 percent in 2023. Instagram and TikTok are awash with hashtags bemoaning the pitfalls of modern courtship.
And if you’ve had ‘the apps’ for a while and you’re not getting any closer to finding love, you’re not alone. A staggering 91% of single men and 94% of single women say finding their person is ‘impossible’.
So punishing is the task that young women are now banding together to take a ‘stand’ against digital dating, deleting popular apps and urging their peers to ditch theirs along with them.
One of the singles leading the charge is TikToker Kamrin White, who recently went viral after sharing an impassioned video in which she declares that dating apps are no longer for dating.
Addressing the camera from her car, Kamrin argued that men see apps as an easy route to casual sex — and little else.
‘I recently deleted my Hinge and I don’t think I’m ever going back,’ she explained.
‘In love, we’re kind of meant to be found. We’re not meant to be actively trying to find love. ‘It’s just supposed to be something you stumble into. I don’t understand how men got onto dating apps and were like, this is not going to be for dating.’
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Kamrin told viewers about a man she had been dating for a month, who gave her a gift on Valentine’s Day and seemed to be sending all the right messages — until he told her that he didn’t want to be in a romantic relationship.
‘Why were you on Hinge?,’ she wondered. But since deleting the app, Kamrin admitted she now worries that she is never going to find someone.
Do people that meet on dating apps have stable relationships?
According to a study by Computers in Human Behaviour, people who find their significant others online have less stable relationships.
The survey, which took data from almost a thousand adults, found they were ‘less satisfied’ with their partners than those who had met their spouse offline.
Lead researcher Liesel Sharabi credited this to the marketing departments of dating apps, that promise users ‘great, long-lasting relationships’ if they sign up.
‘There was a time people dated before dating apps’, she continued.
‘I think if we all put our foot down and get off dating apps, men are going to go back to talking to women in public. Because they don’t do it anymore, because it is so much easier to just go on an app and swipe.
‘I genuinely feel like you get out of the mindset of allowing men to behave mediocrely with you, you will find that it’s almost impossible for someone to come with the pressure straight off of dating apps, because they’ve never had a conversation with you.
‘How can you expect someone to plan a perfect date for you, when all they have to go off of is four photos and a couple of prompts? When someone meets you in person, there’s more of that initial connection, so they’re more likely to a bit more emotionally involved with you.’
The responses came thick and fast, as women flooded the comments with their own stories of dating disappointment. But most only wanted to know how they could find a partner outside their phone.
‘But where are y’all meeting people in real life?’ one woman wrote.
Another added: ‘Okay but just like I ask you and everyone else who suggests this: go where? Do what? Like I’m certainly not walking up to anybody, and the only places I go are to the grocery store and to get coffee.’
Men also had their say, with many pointing out that women must accept responsibility too.
‘Some ladies are on the apps to play around too. I am all for the old school way of doing things!’ one wrote.
Viral backlash to modern dating is becoming more frequent. Earlier this year, another young single woman made headlines with a brilliantly unfiltered rant that summed up how frustrating it can be when you want love, but can’t find it.
Ryan Spencer filmed herself crying in her car, questioning when it was going to be ‘her turn’ to find a partner.
‘Quick question. Are you f**king kidding me? Like I am so sick and tired of just everything, right now,’ she said.
Ryan explained that she just wants love in her life ‘so badly’ and that she’s ‘over’ not having it, especially because she’s done so much work on herself.
‘I have built a beautiful life for myself. I’m happy with my life where I’m at, my job, I’m successful, I’m independent, I’m healthier than I’ve ever been,’ she continues.
‘I take such good care of myself – truly the only thing I’m missing in my life is someone to enjoy it with. I’m so sick of waiting…
‘What more do I have to do to fix myself before I’m just allowed to be happy? Before I’m allowed to meet this soulmate person that God supposedly has for me?
‘I feel like I’m being punished for something I didn’t do.’
Unsurprisingly, Ryan’s 6,000 TikTok comments were filled with those who felt exactly the same way.
Ashley Shaw said: ‘Worst one for me is “oooh it will happen when you least expect it”.’
‘MAN I feel this! I’m tired of everyone saying, “Find what makes you happy! Go take a pottery class, volunteer, go for a hike…” No. What will make me happy is to have someone to do life with,’ another woman wrote.
Other TikTokers were quick to share their thoughts on Ryan’s video too, with Chanté Joseph sharing her insightful response.
‘I think it makes people who are in relationships seem as if they are better than single people, because they have achieved something, due to them working on themselves,’ she said.
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